Until it is true that there is no belief in a solid world, a solid, autonomous self, it is a living hell to walk about with a smile on your face and a dagger in your heart. In this case, it is not in truth to say you believe that this is a beautiful gift, and that you welcome it, open-heartedly. Right now, your heart is fully constricted, and being called to open. You are being shown the world, and railing against it, with all your might, because it is magic you seek - not truth, not clear seeing.
Your heart is broken and you are suffering. In this case, it is in truth to cry and scream, to beg for mercy, to acknowledge the felt terror of your circumstance. Dancing in the daisies at this time is pure delusion, absence from what is true, and is a brutal unkindness to your heart. When it is true that this awesome, awful, sacred, treacherous dream, and everything in it, is as impersonal and transparent as air, then you will be called, in truth, to the freedom of the dream. Everything and nothing will change. Here, you will sing and dance, laugh and cry, mourn and rejoice, with a wild abandon you have never known. You may even beg for mercy to that which cannot hear you, that which cannot be heard. And you will smile and bow to this tender, empty peace. You only have to hand over the keys and walk away.
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The invitation is to leave it alone. To let life be. To know yourself as being lived. That is what is happening here. Life is alive as you, through your breath, through your being. Don't look for it elsewhere. It does you and undoes you, over and over again. You are not the doer. Stop claiming that you are, and your relentless despair of knowing you are not, will dissolve. The belief in the doer, is what deadens you, and crushes your heart. And yet you fear death. The only death you will ever know is this lifeless longing. Question these beliefs, awaken from them, and live it out loud. Then you will know yourself as boundless life, as freedom, and your body will age and die fully alive, without regret, endlessly beautiful.
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August 2022
CategoriesAnalisa Domenica is in private practice as a Doula for living and dying. She offers private mentoring sessions, end-of-life preparation & transition support, bereavement, home death, funeral, and natural burial guidance, and therapeutic touch for comfort care and pain release. She is available to private clients, small groups, and for public education. Find out more about her by clicking here.
'Li' lives and works in Mill Spring, NC, a stone or two's throw from Asheville, NC and Greenville/Spartanburg, SC. She also works globally via phone and zoom. You may reach her by phone at 828.429.0096 or write to her by clicking here. |